Well, ask a few and what you'll hear is, "The Life of a Man is not so complicated"....hmmm
I tell you, that's not 'all true'. It's not so complicated quite alright, but there are little misconceptions about the Life of a Man that threatens that! Yea, we try to make everything look so simple; that's what comes with being a Man (men out there, y'all agree with me?):)
Here are 10 MAJOR MISCONCEPTIONS we (mostly Ladies) have about men.
#1: Men only talk about Football in the pub.
While it’s true that blokes like to discuss the merits of Fernando Torres or the inverted midfield triangle over an ale or seven, this is just one tiny aspect of our pub banter.
Stick a recording device beside a group of men in a bar and you will hear them stray into politics, religion, philosophy, art, revisionist history… the list is endless and virtually unrestrained. And yes, the list does include women too: a pub is the ideal place for a bloke to let off steam, crack a gag about their partner or mercilessly harangue a mate who’s just been dumped. Why? Simply, because it’s unlikely to be overheard by another woman or remembered by anyone so much as thirty seconds later.
#2: Men don't cry.
While women are obviously miles ahead in the weeping-into-a-sheet stakes, the simple truth is that men do shed the occasional tear. But that’s the point: it’s occasional. Very occasional. Plus, when we do it’s likely to be done in total privacy, so that nobody – repeat nobody – can ever see us do it.
In fact, there’s not a man on the planet who hasn’t shed a tear over an ex-girlfriend, or welled up at an on-screen death in the movies.
#3: A Man cannot just 'be friends' with a Woman.
Unless a bloke finds you attractive, there’s every chance he can remain nothing more than a chum.For a man to fancy you, he needs to know you’re fun and well-heeled in the sanity department.
#4: We think about SEX every 7seconds
This is just about the biggest fallacy ever created. For one thing it’s pretty much impossible. For another, it would make it impractical for men to do anything more complicated than tie their shoelaces – and even then we’d have to stick to a single knot before our sex-crazed minds wandered to thought of bra straps and knicker elastic.
Yes men do think about sex a lot. We think about it all the time in one way or another – we can’t let a pretty girl wander past without feeling a stirring in our loins. But every seven seconds – not a chance
#5: We all want Pencil-thin women with BIG boobs.
On one level this is absolutely true. But that is a level that only occurs in the minds of teenagers or after we’ve had six pints. At all other times men are basically interested in finding a woman who is smart, attractive and, crucially, isn’t needy for 99% of her life.
Yes men do want someone attractive on their arm – but then so do women.
#6: Men like fixing things around the house.
Good god no! Unless he's into maintenance, or he has a vast knowledge about Repairs, men do not have the slightest clue about tools or even a vague interest in learning. And, even if he does work on a building site, he’d much prefer to be sat on his rear watching the TV than fiddling around with a pile of screws and random wood.
# 7: That when we say we'll do something,it means we are going to do it straight away.
when we say we’re going to do something, it means we’re going to do it when we feel like doing it – or we think it’s necessary. Not ever immediately.
#8: That when we are quiet, it's either we are in a mood, or thinking about something deep and meaningful.
If you live with a bloke then it’s fair to say that from time to time he will go quiet because he’s in a mood with you. But that is the very rare exception. Generally, if a man goes quiet it means that he just doesn’t have anything much to say, or that he’s too tired to bother. Or it could simply be that that there’s a decent film on the telly and he doesn’t want to talk about your best mate’s relationship problems throughout the crucial scenes. Sorry to break your illusions but the chances of his silence being related to you in any way, shape or form are very, very slim.
As for what we’re thinking of during this silence? It could be about whether we’re hungry enough to stroll to the chippy; or whether a bat could beat a bird in a race; or it could be nothing at all – totally and utterly nothing.
#9: That we are Complicated.
Women may like to analyse every tiny comment a man makes, but that is a total and utter waste of time. If a man says something then that is exactly what he means: he’s not trying to be smart or underhand, and he doesn’t have some devious motive tucked away in the back of his mind. If he says he’s hungry, then he’s hungry – not that the food you just cooked him wasn’t nice or didn’t fill him up. Chances are he loved every mouthful, but now just fancies a bit more grub because, well, he fancies a bit more grub.
Remember one thing: men cannot be bothered to make life as hard for themselves as women. If women didn’t exist there’s every chance we would still be living in caves, tucking into raw meat and playing all manner of highly dangerous yet fiendishly elaborate games to pass the time. Food, sleep, drink, play and toileting – that’s all we want or will ever need from the world.
#10: Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time.
Sadly, this bag of utter twaddle seems to have lodged itself in the minds of women everywhere. If that happens to be you then just consider that men have to juggle just as much in life as a woman, yet they do not perform the task any worse. In fact, there’s every chance that you know plenty of women whose finances and personal life are constantly in chaos.
Yes, there are men like this too, but the simple truth is that life is tricky and we all have to deal with a bag full of poo on a daily basis – regardless of our gender.
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