WHAT WIVES REALLY WANT FOR VALENTINE

Naeto C and wife, Nicole

On Valentine's Day husbands will arrive home with chocolates, roses, lingerie and images of wild sex dancing in their heads. As wives everywhere unwrap their gifts, they'll be thinking, "So what's in this for me?" Far from being that romantic holiday as depicted on the cards, Valentine's Day has become another time for men to place more expectations on women. Their work day is almost never over when they arrive back in their homes. Adding insult to injury, Valentine's Day becomes an opportunity for men, in the guise of romance, to obligate their wives to sex when what their wives really want is time to relax, sleep, and have their houses cleaned by someone else. Therefore, for so many women their understanding of Valentine's Day sex is just one more task that she is expected to perform.
The following are 10 rules for men that could transform Valentine's Day into a holiday women can enjoy and maybe make them feel loved.

1. Gifts are fine but they should be something that she really wants. Not a gift a man wants a woman to want.
2. Rather than entering the home with expectations of romance and desire, ask your Valentine what you can do to lighten her load. (This should be something that is built into marriage every day -- but certainly try it on Valentine's Day.)
3. Clean the house, and do it well. Don't do it in a manner that will predictably cause her to think that she never wants you to do it again because it was really half-hearted.
4. Do the laundry, and do it well.
5. Make dinner or make reservations. This should be a night your wife doesn't have to cook.
6. Offer to take over all household duties for the evening so that she can take a long bath, read a book, watch her favorite TV show, etc.
7. When you get into bed, let her sleep if you can see that's really what she wants. Don't try to manipulate her into feeling guilty because she is not receptive to the idea of sex just because it is Valentine's Day.
8. If sex is what she wants, try to put the focus on her and what you know is pleasurable to her. (If you don't know what is pleasurable to her, that's a sign of a real problem in your sex life.)
9. Write her a love letter. This is not an email, a text message or a card, but a real love letter. In your own handwriting, tell her what she really means to you. Tell her why you would choose her all over again if you had to. Remind her why you are thrilled that she is your kids' mom. She'll keep that letter as a cherished part of her life.
10. Offer her a massage. Many Valentine's Day experts recommend a day spa gift certificate as a great gift option for your sweetheart, but I think a personal massage is a wonderful alternative. Giving your woman a good foot massage or a solid back rub can really make her relax and feel good. Learn some massage techniques, pick up some massage oil and work out those stiff muscles. 

 
The way to a woman's heart is to show her that you are thinking of her and her needs not you and your needs. Relationships that keep the focus on the other person's needs when trying to "gift" them generally end up being the most romantic relationships. And sometimes, the most sexual relationships.